Death Makes You Think

It was in March of 2012 that I first wrote about Princess Leah, a little girl who was born with a mitochondrial disease who has been fighting for her life since she was only a few months old.  This morning, little Leah passed away in her parents’ arms after fighting too many serious infections.  She is at peace now, or at least I like to think so, but while she is at peace, I have to wonder how her parents are handling it.  How do you cope with losing a child?  I don’t think there are any answers.  But I hope they find their peace and can continue to live their lives as Leah would have probably wanted.

I don’t have much to say really.  I just figured if any of you remember hearing about Leah that you would like to know.  So hug your children and your loved ones.  Give them a kiss and love them every day.  You never know when it could be the last hug or kiss you get.  And if you’re religious or spiritual, say a little prayer for them tonight.

TTC Part 3: End of One Cycle Start of A New

It’s always hard to want something terribly and realize it’s just not time yet.  Got my period today, so there goes my first cycle.  While I am sad it didn’t happen this time, I didn’t really expect it to happen right away.  So, on to cycle #2 with a smile on my face, because really, February wouldn’t have been great timing anyway.

I actually prefer this to the alternative some women are going through.  I wandered onto an online group I belong to today where many women had gotten their positive tests finally this month, only to discover that 2 of them lost their babies.  This happens quite frequently.  Something like 30% of conceptions end in miscarriage/chemical pregnancy.  Watching people go through this who have been trying so long makes me feel so sad for them,  and so grateful that I at least have my beautiful son.  If nothing else, I have him.  It goes to show, you should never take what you have for granted.

On a lighter note, I’ve decided to post my “symptoms” as a reference point for future months, which it turned out were all progesterone-driven (kind of thought they were, but wanted to keep track anyway).  So, for those of you who just “feel” pregnant, let me remind you–pregnancy and PMS are virtually the same until implantation.  And even if you don’t ever feel something, there’s a chance you will feel it simply because you’re more aware of your body.  I know this and hear it all the time, but somehow, it’s easy to forget when you just so badly want a baby to be growing in you.  So, here’s my list of NON-pregnant symptoms:

 

1DPO	Fullness in uterus, twinge in left ovary, more/looser  bm than usual, frequent urination, headache
2DPO	On and off dizziness, some fatigue, hungry, frequent urination, little patience, ewcm glob then dry, sore hips, achy crotch
3DPO	Tired, nausea, dizziness, gassy, cm watery
4DPO	Cramping, watery cm, sore hips, lower back ache
5DPO	Cramping, tired (could be from Disneyland trip), watery cm, stuffy nose, burning sensation in uterus
6DPO	Slight nausea in AM (got worse to the point that I grabbed an old preggie pop from 2010 to calm it), very tired, irritable
7DPO	Cramping, tired
8DPO	Cramping, tired, nauseous during exercise
9DPO	Cramping, headache, brown spotting
10DPO	Cramping, tired, breasts sensitive (stinging sensation), insomnia last night, achy joints (hips, back, knees)
11DPO	BOAS pos.(proof BOAS doesn’t work), tired, headache, achy, stuffy nose
12DPO	Bloating at night, sore boobs, light cramping
13DPO	Bloated all day, more gas than usual, light cramping
14DPO	Cramping, bloating, gassy, tired, mild nausea
15DPO	Tired, slight nausea, cramping, brown spotting with CM, feel like AF coming
16DPO	AF Started

TTC #2 Part 2–The Two Week Wait

When TTC, inevitably the fun and games are over after ovulation, and you’re left in a special situation where you have to wonder for 2+ weeks if it happened or not.  Did the egg get fertilized?  Did it implant?  When should I test?  Why are other people with my same ovulation date already getting positive tests and mine is still negative, because I sure do feel pregnant?

The wait is torture.  I am 10 days in to a 16 day wait for my period.  It’s not at all helped by the fact that I seem to have acquired an addiction to peeing on sticks.  You can buy pregnancy tests on the internet (wondfos are best) for dirt cheap.  And, they’re surprisingly sensitive.  So, you fall into a pattern–pee in the morning, pee in the evening, pee at any time!  It’s really amazing how many wondfos you can go through in a month when you’re determined to pee yourself into parenthood.  I cannot tell you how many cups I have peed in in the last week and how many I will probably continue to pee in until I either get a positive result or my period.  It’s insanity.  There are people called tweakers that can help you figure out if a faint line is a real line, because in addition to obvious positives and negatives, you can get indents, dye runs, evaps, and more.

Symptom spotting is another problem.  Virtually from 1DPO (day post ovulation) I started over-analyzing.  Am I sick because I’m pregnant, or sick because I got a cold?  Do I have cramps because I’m pregnant, or cramps because I just notice more now that I’m paying attention?  Were those 2 drops of brown blood in my underwear implantation bleeding, or just spotting even though I never have spotted in almost 20 years of having my period?  Am I tired because I am pregnant, or because I work hard and come home to a preschooler?  More than likely, you’re going to get the same symptoms at least for a while whether pregnant or not.  It’s all caused by progesterone, at least until implantation, which rarely happens before 6-12 DPO.  And progesterone rises whether you have a little fertilized egg inside or not.  So, we’re screwed.  No way to know.  If you’re impatient like me, that makes waiting the worst experience ever!

A lot of people seem to talk about ways to cope with the two week wait. How do you get your mind off of it?  I haven’t figured out the answers yet.  It seems easier when I’m busy, but I’m too tired to keep myself busy all the time.  And every time I rest, those little thoughts creep into my mind.  The what if’s.  The dream and desire of wanting another child.

TTC #2

I’ve been promising myself enough time to write this as it will turn into a project over the span of many months.  Today, a forum I belong to reminded me that I need to get started on writing again.

Everyone has been asking for the last 2 years–”When will you have another?  Don’t you want to give your son a brother or sister?”  Finding the right time has been an ongoing challenge.  Do we want them close together or far apart?  Do we have the money for another baby?  Do we have the space?  Then, finally it clicked–there is no “right” time.  If there was anything we learned from me getting pregnant the first time while religiously taking my birth control pills, it’s that the right time is when it happens so long as you have at least the bare minimum to meet the needs of another human being.

Thus begins my journey of actually trying to conceive.  I suddenly find myself in a world of acronyms–OPK, CD, BD, DPO, BBT, HPT…and so on.  So for the last few months we’ve been not really trying, but sort of curious and I’ve been getting to know my body–when I ovulate, what my body feels like when it’s not pregnant.  Turns out, you don’t know a whole lot about your reproductive system until you really look at it.  For instance, did you know you may feel different types of cramps on and off throughout your cycle?  Or that progesterone can make you feel sick to your stomach and tired, mimicking the symptoms of early pregnancy?  Did you know your cervix changes position throughout your cycle or that different types of cervical mucus are more fertile than others?  So, like I said, I’ve spent the last couple of months trying, but not really trying.  And now that I finally understand my body, we’re finally ready to try.

It’s an exciting time, filled with thoughts of nursery decor, baby gear, and cute little layettes I want to buy.  It’s a time of thinking of how I will tell everyone once it happens and how I will explain it to my son.  But it’s also a time of uncertainty.  What if it’s not as easy to get pregnant this time?  What if my body not being in as good of shape as it used to causes me to have a miscarriage?  What if this future, nonexistent baby has an even worse birth than my son?  What if I’m never destined to have that “normal” birthing experience and being able to take my child home after only 2 days in the hospital.  What if?…

Truth is, there are about a thousand what ifs.  But the one thing I know for certain is that any future baby we have will be loved and welcomed with open arms.  We are so ready to have this next baby and take this next step in expanding our families.  As my family continues down this road, I hope to share our progress with you.

Evil Dead (2013) (May Contain Slight Spoilers)

So many good movies coming out in 2013, so little time.  How on earth did I find time to see a new movie 2 weeks in a row?  At any rate…onward!

What can I say about Evil Dead?  Fans of the 1981 original, such as myself, have known and admired Sam Rami’s works for years.  I will never forget seeing Army of Darkness (1992) as a young child and falling in love with the campiness and horror.  It wasn’t until later that I saw The Evil Dead (1981) or Evil Dead 2 (1987), but both were equally impressive.  Bruce Campbell, from his work, has become a legend and the entire series has this strange cult following.  So, of course when I discovered Sam Rami’s work was being continued in a new movie, I had to see it.

So how was Evil Dead (2013)?  Well, first off, it’s a great reboot/sequel to a fantastic and beloved classic.  I see it as everything Rami and Campbell probably wanted to do back in 1981 but couldn’t due to funding and lack of experience.  Unfortunately, much of what made the original so strangely successful was the excessive campiness and terrible special effects, which is definitely not the case with this latest installment.  That’s not to say the new version isn’t amazing, because it is, but it’s definitely not the old Evil Dead.  The basic story is there–5 young people holed up in a cabin with one super evil book.  David comes to the cabin to help a group of friends get his sister, Mia, off of heroin.  While there, one of the young lads finds the book and decides to open it.  Mia, while going through withdrawals, senses something strange is happening, tries to leave, and ultimately gets raped by the devil.  What then ensues is a series of possessions and horrific murders, ultimately leading to the showdown between brother and sister.

I won’t give away exactly how it ends because I don’t want to ruin it for anyone who hasn’t seen it yet, but I was pleased with the way they decided to end this one.  At first, I was expecting essentially an exact remake of the 1981 storyline.  But, they throw a little extra in.  And that was probably my favorite part of this particular installment in the franchise.

Now, onto the things I liked:  There were some oddly humorous elements, such as the many uses of duct tape.  The filmmakers made sure to use excessive amounts of blood that in reality would kill people instantly, but in this story and the predecessors may only indicate slight discomfort.  The chainsaw scenes were also incredible as they really seemed to pay homage to the original story both due to aesthetics and cinematographic elements.  I also really appreciated the graphic nature of this film.  It makes it so much better to actually watch someone cut their arm off or rip their own limb off as opposed to just guessing.  Yeah, that’s sick, but so what?  I’m a horror fan.  Sue me.  I would have loved to see the original director’s NC-17 cut, but I suppose I’ll get my opportunity when it is released on DVD.  Honestly, as it is the movie is a very hard R–probably just one checkmark away from NC-17 even with the cuts they had to make.

Really the only thing I didn’t like was the lack of campiness, but that didn’t bother me so much given the fantastic job that was done in virtually every other aspect.  Bring on more sequels, please, because I would love to see how technology, graphics, and a more desensitized world may play into the reboot/remake/sequels of Evil Dead 2 and Army of Darkness.  I need to see more of that chainsaw ass kicking.

This movie reaffirmed my love for horror movies, pushed the boundaries, and overall was highly impressive.  So says the girl who’s loved horror movies for the last 25 years.  See it.  If you’re a true horror fan, you won’t regret it.

Movie Review: The Host

Deciding to give Stephenie Meyer a chance to prove that she could write a decent novel, I read The Host back in December and was decidedly impressed.  Yes, everyone, she can actually write a decent book.

So, of course, I had to see the movie the minute it came out.  On the surface, the movie was surprisingly good.  They captured the look of the Soul exactly as I pictured it while reading.  Uncle Jeb and Jared were well-cast and the desert landscape was beautiful.  Most of the main plot points appeared in the movie.  I went away from the theater thinking the filmmakers did a pretty good job of making a movie out of a book that’s main feature is an ongoing dialog between two creatures inhabiting the same body, even if Melanie’s voice was a little out of place.  Also, I couldn’t remember why I loved the book so much because the movie just didn’t leave me feeling “wow”.

Then I went home and re-read parts of the book.  And I realized how much of the book was left out or slightly changed.  It was highly disappointing.  A lot of what builds the character relationships was ignored, as well as a lot of Wanda’s characterization.  No big shock since this happens in almost every film adaptation of a book, but it still made me a little sad. Combined with my disappointment over the choice of casting for Ian and the body Wanda eventually resides in, it was just a little frustrating.  Jake Abel was fine in the part, but nothing how I pictured Ian.  Again, not sure who played Wanda at the end, but while she acted fine, she didn’t fit the description from the book the way I saw it.  It didn’t hurt the movie, but I think a lot of book fans would agree it just didn’t work.

I had high hopes for the movie, and while if left me satisfied, it was by no means as good as it could have been.  I wouldn’t have minded a slightly longer movie if they could have included more of the character developing moments from the novel, but unfortunately that was not to be.  So, is it worth seeing?  Yeah, probably.  If you’re a fan of the book, you’ll like is as a summary or comparison.  If you’ve never read the book, you probably won’t have a problem with it.  Overall, I give it a B.  It was a good attempt at making this novel into a movie, but it just could have been so much better with different casting and more emphasis on the character development.

Disneyland Trip with an Almost-3-Year-Old

For this year’s big adventure, my family decided to take a trip to Disneyland.  It’s nearby, but with the cost, we don’t go a lot.  So, we booked ourselves a hotel room for 2 nights and took off.

First up, the hotel.  We opted to stay onsite at the Disneyland Hotel.  Yes, it’s expensive, but with a toddler, it’s worth the extra money to be close to the parks and ride the monorail.  We booked a 1 bedroom suite because it would have been cheaper than 2 separate rooms for the grandparents and us.  We had a suite on the 14th floor of the Frontier Tower and it was gorgeous.  Frontier Tower, from what I could tell, is the only tower with the potential for getting a balcony.  If you can afford a suite, it’s worth every penny because if you’re able to get one with the right angle, you can watch the fireworks.  There’s even a tv channel with the music and voice-overs for the fireworks, so you get the whole package without the big crowds.  My son loved seeing the fireworks from the hotel room and since he was so tired, it was easy to get him ready for bed right after they were done.

So, our first day, we went to Disneyland.  We got there around 6:30 to check into the hotel, got our 2-day park hoppers (kids under 3 are free–added bonus if you’re thinking of taking your toddler), and walked over to Disneyland for the 8AM Extra Magic Hour for hotel guests.  I grew up going to Disneyland, so it’s not a surprise that that first hour made all the difference.  We were able to ride the Finding Nemo Submarines, Alice in Wonderland, the Teacups, and Dumbo all before the park officially opened.  My son learned quickly to wait in line appropriately, so by the time lines got longer, we were totally okay.  Autopia, the Disneyland Railroad, Casey Jr., and Pirates of the Caribbean were my kid’s favorites.  I have to say Pirates surprised me a bit because at my son’s age, I was terrified of it, but he just fell in love with it from the start.  There are a lot of appropriate rides for toddlers and we inevitably found ourselves at ToonTown for a while, too.  There are more characters out in the park than there were 10 years ago, which was also great because for a long time, they all seemed to be in hiding.  Oh, and from an adult perspective, the new Star Tours is so much better than the old one.  It’s in 3D now and has so many different options for your experience.  The refurbished Matterhorn was also nice because they made the seats a little more comfortable.  Still no leg room, but at least you don’t have to smoosh into the car with your partner squeezed up against you.

The second day we spent most of the day at California Adventure.  We didn’t go on most of the fast rides because really, we were there for our son more than us.  However, my husband and I insisted on going on the Radiator Springs Racers, the new E-ticket ride in Carsland.  It was…amazing.  One of the best rides ever created for any of the Disney parks, in my opinion at least.  The details were amazing.  Carsland itself was worth the trip to DCA with our son, who loves Cars.  Mater’s Junkyard Jamboree was a lot more fun than it looked and Luigi’s Flying tires were also fun for all of us.  At night, right at sundown, Carsland re-creates that famous scene from the movie where the neon lights are all turned on and the song Sh-Boom plays over the speakers.  It’s truly magical for fans of the movie.  In addition to Carsland, we had a lot of little kid fun in Bug’s Land.  The Monster’s Inc. ride and the Little Mermaid ride were also top favorites and must-sees.

Our third day, we spent some time in Downtown Disney before driving home.  There are a ton of great stores.  We loved the Lego store especially.  My son spent an hour building cars and other items at their outside Lego play area.  Lunch at the Rainforest Cafe finished off our trip.  Overall, it was a wonderful experience.

So, if you’re thinking of taking your toddler to Disneyland, but aren’t sure if they’re old enough, I honestly think they are.  My son had an amazing time and got so excited by little things like meeting Mickey and riding on the Monorail.  If you prep them ahead of time by showing the Disneyland Sing-A-Long, or a Travel Channel Disneyland special, they’ll love it.  Going to Disneyland with a kid makes it all magical again.  So worth it!

United States and Sequestration–Is This the Beginning of the End?

Great empires all have at least one thing in common–they eventually fall.  More and more, I am starting to get the impression that the United States, once a great power, is falling and falling fast.  The 2013 sequestration, as it’s been termed, is set to begin taking effect later tonight.  For those of you who are not familiar, this is the government’s worst-case scenario “solution” to the increasing debt owed by the United States.  Over a period from 2013-2021, the government would be forced to reduce spending by $1.0 trillion dollars.  Many of these cuts will happen in defense spending and support programs like medicare and funding for special education, just to name a couple.  Sequestration was not something anyone really wanted as far as I know, but given no choice when an agreement could not be reached, this was all that remained.

With this latest blow during a time when the economy is already downturned with unemployment rates high and many of the middle and lower class underpaid, we have to wonder where the United States, was what once the greatest power in the world, is headed.  When examining the issue, I came across this entry outlining the similarities between the Roman Empire and the United States.  The author focuses primarily on the Fall of Rome and explains parallels such as dubious campaign funding, continuous war, the role of profits made overseas, and, most relevant today, the loss of the spirit of compromise.

After looking into this, I further examined parallels between the British Empire and America, locating this interesting piece on what Americans can learn, but may not have, from the British.  Note that the fall of the British Empire was quite different than the fall of Rome, but there are some lessons we could still benefit from learning.  Overextension into the politics of other countries, dependence on a rhetoric at odds with reality, and maintaining a domestic economy were a few of the areas mentioned.  And yet, where are we?  We’re meddling in the Middle East, outsourcing labor, and generally allowing a large group of wealthy old men who know very little outside of their circles to have a very large amount of power.

I was most impressed by the description of the American Empire found here.  This Eastern Orthodox group (in addition to supporting their own vision of the re-invigorated Russian Empire) writes of the fall of America, just like the fall of so many greats, including the Soviet Union.  They speak of the glory days of the United States, primarily in the 30s, 40s, and 50s.  Odd, of course, as some of this time was spent in poverty within the United States, but not altogether wrong as this was the time we demonstrated the most kindness and giving to the rest of the world.  They argue that the 1970s saw the begin of the downfall of this great empire with the loss of the Vietnam War due to the loss of moral high ground.  Now, with wars in the Middle East, we see more of the same–wars we will never fully “win” no matter how much we want to claim we have.  We are now trapped in impossible wars, tied financially to China, one of the few if not only nations with any power left, and forced into economic disaster.  We have poorly educated children, a health care system that cares only for money, and a loss of faith in the mythical “American Dream” that has been our ideological foundation for so many years, so very like the loss of faith in communism that the Soviet faced as it fell.  They do note that the fall will not happen over night and it won’t be the end of the world in the larger sense, but it will mean a major change on a world level.

Will the United States fall as a super power?  It’s inevitable.  I guess the real question is whether it will fall sooner or later.  What will it mean for the American people, especially those poor and middle class who are increasingly feeling the pressure of a struggling economy?  We will have to wait and see.  My cynical guess?  Worst-case scenario we end up in a class war, fighting between the poor/middle class and the wealthy policymakers and powers.  No matter who wins, the nation will come under the power of a dictator, if not in name than in spirit, and we will see a major shift–either for better or worse.  It will likely take a while, maybe not even in my lifetime, but who knows?  The cornerstones have already been laid.  My dark, twisted mind immediately jumps to the sad, scary worlds of dystopia that I have become so fond of reading about.  And if that happens, how long will it take to make it out?

Maybe everything will be rainbows and butterflies, but if there’s one thing I know about the world, it’s that nothing is ever that easy.

Carseat 101–Or is that Number 101???

A lesson to all you soon-to-be-moms out there, or those of you with young babies.  Carseats are not cheap.  And if there’s a negative review somewhere in the universe about a certain carseat, don’t ignore it and think that same problem won’t happen to you.

When my son was still a fetus growing in my womb, we bought out first carseat, a Graco Snugride 35.  Loved the pattern, loved that it said it would go up to 35 lbs., loved the price (clearance), loved the idea that I could use it for a second child down the road.  I was wrong.  First off, a carseat may say it goes to 35 lbs., but you have to look at height of child, width of child, and consider if you really want to be toting around a portable carseat that weighs around 15 lbs. with a 35 pound baby/toddler in it.  By the time my son was 6 mos. old, he simply weighed too much for me to carry around the portable carseat anymore.  Sure, we could have just left it in the car, but that didn’t solve the fact that my son’s head was nearing the top of the height limit.  So, we went on to buy another one.  we may not be able to use the carseat again–our kids will be 4+ years apart.  And low and behold, carseats expire after about 4-9 years (from the manufacture date, which in the case of a clearance carseat, may be a year or two from when you purchased it).

Our second carseat was an Evenflo Titan Elite, a convertible carseat that was small and easy to put into my small Toyota Yaris.  Fit great in the Yaris rear-facing and it was relatively cheap with fairly high safety ratings.  I thought it would easily last until my son was in a booster.  Wrong again.  It says you can use it for kids up to 47″ tall and up to 50 lbs.  Well, I wish that had been the truth.  Weight-wise, this is completely true.  But, my son has a long torso for his height.  My mother still has a Titan Elite in her car because she only takes my son on occasion–that will be changing soon as his head is a good 2 inches above the seat now.  I had to switch it out last year when my son was only around 20 months old because I noticed he was approaching the “1 inch below the top of the seat” rule.  So, it was time for yet another carseat.

After doing thorough research, or at least what I thought was thorough, I chose the Graco Nautilus 3-in-1.  My thought on this one was that it’s essentially a booster with a 5-point harness, so in theory, it should have lasted my son until he no longer needs a booster seat.  It quite possibly will last that long, but one big problem–the red button that unlocks the harness sticks.  Yes, one year after installing the seat, my son became stuck in the seat.  It took me 20 minutes to get him out.  We have WD-40′d the button and it seems to be working, so we may pass it on to my parents to replace their Titan Elite if we can get it functioning consistently again, but it will not be used on a regular basis in my car.  There’s nothing worse than the thought of having my son trapped in the car in the event of a car fire, explosion, or other emergency.  For the record, there have been multiple instances of this happening in reviews of the product.  I foolishly thought it was rare and wouldn’t happen to us.  When will I learn my lesson?  Oh, on another note, my son has always been able to undo the top part of the harness on his own (he knows now to put it back together, but I can’t tell you how many times I had to pull over the first 6 months after we got the thing).  So we have a top that comes off easily and a bottom that won’t ever come undone, even with superhuman strength.  Erm…

So, the latest we’re trying is the Evenflo Securekid 400.  I haven’t found any bad reviews, it looks good, and the harness looks to be in good working order.  Let’s hope this is the last one.  I somehow doubt it.

On the other hand, we have the plan we used with my husband’s car.  When the infant seat got too small, we went straight to the Evenflo Truimph LX, which would have fit into a Yaris just as easily as it fit into his Corolla, but looked bulkier.  It is bulkier, to be fair.  But guess what?  My son still fits comfortably into it at almost 3 years old and we really won’t have to replace it with another seat until he’s in a booster.

Moral of the story?  Do some research.  Don’t buy what’s cheapest or what will look best in your car.  Buy what will function and last, unless of course you have a ton of money to waste.  I know a lot of people will say “just go buy a Britax” or something along those lines.  Well, it doesn’t necessarily have to be Britax or any other higher end brand.  But it does need to function.  All carseats have their faults and no seat is perfect.  Reviews help a lot, as does understanding that weight and height limits listed on a box are not always what they seem if your kid has a long torso or wide frame.  For our next child, we will be buying a reasonably-priced infant seat and expecting to replace it with something similar to the Triumph LX, and a booster after that.  It will be much more cost-effective than the mistakes I’ve made in my car.

Review: The Chemical Garden Trilogy

“We’ll squeeze every second that we can from our lives, because we’re young, and we have plenty of years to grow. We’ll grow until we’re braver. We’ll grow until our bones ache and our skin wrinkles and our hair goes white, and until our hearts decide, at last, that it’s time to stop.”

The Chemical Garden Trilogy, a young adult series by Lauren DeStefano, is about Rhine, a girl who lives in a world where in her generation, girls die at the age of 20 and boys at 25.  While geneticists are seeking a miracle, Rhine and others like her are just trying to survive.  After applying to a medical study, Rhine is taken captive to live in a strange world of teenage sister-wives, twisted medical experiments, and a strange sort of evil.

The series, which includes Wither, Fever, and Sever, is beautifully written–so beautifully that you almost forget how sad it is.  The words may be flowery and at times overly descriptive, but the overall story is one that, while unexpected, touched a very special place in my heart.  I will admit that the premise of reading about girls forced to be sister-wives in their teens was not something I was excited to read about at first because in my mind, that and dystopian/sci-fi don’t really mix.  But, somehow, it works.  I will admit that my review of Wither was nothing special.  It was okay.  I didn’t see anything particularly dystopian at first–the story is primarily an oddly devised romance with some sci-fi and dystopia thrown in.  I even felt like the romance was weak and not at all fitting to the way the first book played out.  In Fever, the story picks up its pace, and by the end, I was dying for the third book to come out.  The sci-fi really kicks in and we start to understand what’s going on and what evil really is–or at least what we’re made to think.  Finally, with Sever, everything came together.  There are still some lose ends, but while at times the book appears to almost be rushed with some plot decisions made because it was the easy way to finish the book, overall, I get the impression by the end that the decisions weren’t really the easy ones.  They were the ones that had to be made for the books’ point to be made.  I understood why the romance had to play out the way it did and how it made for a better ending.  I began to fully appreciate those sometimes flowery descriptions as they made even the worst of times seem palpable.  The only thing I didn’t really “feel” was the dystopia.  It was there, but I wouldn’t categorize this as dystopian any more than Star Wars was.  It’s a sci-fi romance about a world full of deadly “viruses” and mad scientists looking for a cure.  But while this trilogy seems strange and far-fetched, it brings a very real point home–life is messy.  Life doesn’t fit into little boxes and it’s never easy to just be what you want to be.  Time is short and you never know when you’ll breath your last breathe.  So live.  And live fully.  That’s all any of us can do.